To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
40s are totally the cure
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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