dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
