Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
