i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
