I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
