I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This show inspires me to have sex in space
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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