She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
