I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
