ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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