Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
