Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
