So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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