I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
