Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
