I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
