her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize