I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
