Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
