and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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