...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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