Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
if only i could text you this smell
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
