Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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