I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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