he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
