Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think my moral compass just broke
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