There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
did i just pee glitter
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
