I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
