Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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