Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My dick has a subreddit
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
