I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
