clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
