how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
