i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
