Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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