Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
