i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
