I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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