You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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