I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
