I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
