first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
