you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
