so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
