Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
