she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
