his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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