We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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