I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
