i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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