he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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