So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
