Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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