He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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