He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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