So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
