I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
