check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
