I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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