I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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