good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize