Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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