I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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