Small penises have feelings too.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
