so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it's great music for shaving your balls
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
